Friday, April 1, 2011

Obama Adds 60 Miles to Appalachian Trail

Washington DC (April 1, 2011) - President Obama announced today that he is adding 60 miles to the Appalachian Trail. Executive Order 23495 directs the National Park Service to add the 60 miles of the Chesapeake and Ohio Canal between Harpers Ferry and Washington DC to the 2,178 mile Appalachian Trail. The new addition follows the historic Chesapeake and Ohio Canal to the Arlington Memorial Bridge. The Appalachian Trail will then wind through the National Mall to Union Station providing hikers the opportunity to view America's great monuments. Side trails, known as "blue blazes", to the White House, the Capitol, and the Smithsonian museums are planned. Hikers will return to Harpers Ferry using a high speed rail voucher.

"As you know, Michelle and I enjoy hiking in the woods of Camp David and America's national parks. The sight of America's youth passing through Washington DC each Spring will be a powerful witness to inner city youth to explore America's wilderness." Said Obama. "Let me make this perfectly clear. While there will be no boots on the ground in Libya, America needs more boots on the ground from its cities."

The First Lady's office also announced the National Park Service will be removing soft drink machines and fast food concessions from both Shenandoah and Great Smokies National Parks. "Too many hikers are consuming empty calories and arriving in Maine malnourished, having lost unhealthy amounts of body fat;" said Michele Obama. "We need to provide America's hikers with nourishing fruits and vegetables instead of sugary drinks and high fat junk food." White House insiders speculate the First Couple may provide trail magic using the White House garden.

The addition of 60 miles to the Appalachian Trail brings the total mileage of the famous trail to 2,238 miles and adds an additional five days to a typical five to six month through hike. Free high speed rail vouchers will be available for the 2012 hiking season from the Appalachian Trail Conservancy in Harpers Ferry, WV.

Happy April Fools Day 2011.


  1. I use to find your blog informative. This attempt at humor borders on racism. I won't be back.

  2. Thank your for the valuable feedback. I rewrote a few phrases to move them further from the "borders on racism" and focus more clearly on the current administration's efforts to improve youth physical fitness. I appreciate your honesty and integrity.

  3. Nice post, keep it up!

  4. MO hasn't a clue about what a hiker likes or needs. Going thru the SNP and having those empty colories close at hand is a treat to thru hikers and a nice cold soda can bring a smile to a hot smelley hiker.
    Is MO going to do Trail Magic and show up everyday during the hiking season with FREE fresh fruit and veggies from her White House garden? Stump-2001

  5. Um, you did read the part that says "Happy April Fools Day 2011" didn't you?